to you, the person who's hurt me more than anything all these years

to you.
when the going gets rough, you managed to make it worse. it's not fair that you do that to me. you're suppose to love me and you're suppose to be my support. without it, i don't know how you expect me to be a better person. i can't stress enough how much you hurt me. and not just emotionally but in every way. i sometimes feel sorry for myself because i'm like this and because our relationship is broken like the way it is. it makes me even angrier than sad, that you chose to be like this in front of me and that you chose to treat me the way you do. i don't understand, you know? no matter how much i try to communicate that with you, it doesn't seem to work and you don't even care. you don't even know how much i'm struggling to fix this and you just sit like nothing's going wrong, like you don't even see what you're doing to me.

does it even matter to you?
JFKDLASKLAJIOCACAS YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY SOMETIMES.
& i don't want to even try anymore.
i don't want to care about you.
so

maybe i will stop
stop caring about you
stop worrying about you
and stop loving you.


i give up on you.